I am sitting here, along with many other people who are waiting for the nurse to call them. Every second feels like a year in here. No one talks. Every once in a while, someone takes a magazine, turns some pages, and without reading even a word puts it back. You know how when the roller coaster is on the top and suddenly it speeds towards the ground for seconds you feel like your heart is falling from its place. Well, that’s how I am feeling right now.
The doctor has said that my son might only have a few weeks left. But he said it really depends on this test. If it comes out negative, my Dave will be fine. Now I have to wait for the nurse to call my name. Oh, wait. I think she is calling me. Oh my God, I feel like I am in a movie and it is playing on slow motion making me go through these moments of pressure longer. I stand up and I walk towards the doctor’s room.
– Hi, you must be Dave’s mother.
– yes, the results …
– I am so sorry madam!
(I miss a beat. I swallow my saliva)
– was it (a breathe) pos(a breathe)itive?
– I am so sorry I have to be the person who tells you this. The results were negative.
(The doctor smiles. The doctor expects appreciation for his joke. I smile back. I hate the doctor.)
I need to take a deep breathe, a very deep breathe. Dave is fine. My Dave fine. I am happy. I am so happy. I am flying. I feel like there is nothing I want in life.
“We human being are very strange. Sometimes, for us to be happy we have to lose what we have and gain it back.”
the soul tamagotchi