the test that will change your life

I wanted to write a post about different ways of committing suicide but another topic came to my mind so I will postpone the post on DOs and DONTs of suicide to some other time. So, if you are in a hurry to commit suicide I apologize and humbly ask you to wait a few more days. I mean you already have a crap life so few more days won’t change anything. I promise in my next post we will very inclusively go through different methods of suicide and how to make sure you do a good job dying.

If you are a person who is addicted to reading horoscopes to find about your love this post is for you. If you are a person who has a life and does not waste time on horoscope this post is for you too. If you are mad at your parents and want to live the house this post is for you. If you are a parent and your children are driving you crazy this post is for you. If you believe in Valentine’s day you will love this post. If you think Valentine’s day is stupid you will love this post too. I want to talk about a love test. As the name suggests it is a test which measures how much you love someone and the information provided is useful for yourself. I was introduced to this method by my brother and I hereby claim the copyright of this method for my family.

Let’s get to business now. You first need to choose the person you want to do the test about. Say you choose a friend of yours. Go to your room where you can be alone. Close the door. Sit on your bed. Yes, your chair is also fine. Now, close your eyes and imagine your friend is dead. Imagine any good thing that your friend did for you. Maybe you still have some of the texts your friend sent you which made you feel good. Imagine the places you went together and how the next time you go your friend won’t be there. The TV shows your friend liked, the books …

Ok, now you can open your eyes. The result is ready. How you feel now is how much you love that person. If you don’t feel anything either you’re a very cruel person who deserves to read my next post or the person you did the test about does not have an important role in your life. But if you feel sad, which i hope you do, not that I want others to be sad I just want your friends to matter to you, if you feel sad then appreciate your friend as long as you have the chance to. You can also do the test the next time you are mad at someone, be it a family member or a friend. If you did the test and the results showed you love him/her then maybe no matter how big the issue that has made you upset is, it is not worth being far and mad at the person you love.

p.s. people leave us without any notice. if their absence makes you sad, their presence should do the opposite. (doesn’t this sentence deserve to be in quotation websites?)


9 responses to “the test that will change your life

  1. I LOVE this post! Everything about it is great. It made me laugh. It made me think. It was a quick read that gave me all that I wanted out of it. (I’m not thinking of committing suicide, but I do look forward to your next post. You’ve peaked my interest 😉 ). I do a similar thing to what you describe actually when I’m angry with my kids. I try to stop myself mid angry outburst and think about how I would feel if my children, who mean the world to me, were suddenly gone, dead, kidnapped, whatever, but just gone. And it serves to calm me down and look at the situation from a whole-life perspective instead of just that one angry moment. It somehow doesn’t diminish the moment or the angry feelings that I’m experiencing. But it does help me see the moment and those feelings as small in the grand scheme of things.

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