You want something and you ask your friends to pray you get it. (If you don’t believe in praying replace it in your mind with wishing.) They tell you that they are going to pray you get that which is the best. But you don’t accept and tell them you want them to pray for what you want not that which is the best. They try to explain that once you got the best you will like it more. But then again you refuse to accept and say that you don’t want the best you just want what you like because it makes you feel good ( see you have already accepted what you want is not the best). They say ok and tell you that they are going to pray that you get what makes you feel good the most. But you don’t accept that either. You may even shout at them and tell them that they don’t understand or that they are not good friends. (Think of what you want so bad in your life and read this paragraph again, maybe it is a job, or a boy you fancy or …)
But deep inside you, you know what is going on. You are scared. You are scared that what you want might not be the best. Why do you refuse to think about it? Why can’t you accept the truth? The point is our feelings play an important role on what we find as the truth. Suppose you are to judge which one of the accused people in the court have committed the crime. One of them is your son and the other is a stranger. If all the evidences show that the stranger has committed the crime you will easily accept the evidences and make the judgment. But then what if they point at your son? Everything changes. It won’t be as easy to accept the truth. You might even order for the evidences to be rechecked. Why is this? Why can’t you accept the truth like you would do if the criminal wasn’t your son? The answer is that subconsciously you know that accepting the truth means that your sun will go to prison and will suffer and that is a severe emotional pressure that you are desperate to avoid. How do you avoid that? By not accepting the truth and all of this might happen in less than a second and as I said subconsciously.
We have all experienced examples of this. We might not be all judges in the court but we all find it easier to believe that the reason we didn’t get to uni was that the interviewers didn’t like us not that we really didn’t answer the questions correctly, we find it easier to accept the referee’s decision when it is in favor of our team and we all accept that visiting the grandma is a moral act and what a lady or a gentleman does unless this means that we should give up on on going to the party with friends or playing Assassin’s Creed III then visiting her might not seem as good. We will try to find excuses not to visit the grandma like “she does not even care to see”. Most of the times we are so good in making excuses that we might even believe them ourselves.
This is why there are moments that no matter how many times or in how many ways people explain you the truth, you will not accept it. This might be because accepting the truth will mean that we are not as good as we thought or that we have to face a difficulty or that we have to do something hard. Suppose you are a heavy smoker and your doctor tells you that if you don’t stop you will get cancer. You can come back from the clinic and say that the doctor was no good and knows nothing or you can accept the truth even though it is hard for you to stop smoking. Even if you don’t stop, but at least be honest with yourself and don’t deny the truth. Cause if you deny it you will never stop and you will definitely get the cancer. But if you accept the truth there is a chance that maybe one day you start to stop smoking.
If you want to be a better employee, a better father, to lose weight, become a better person you have to be honest at least with yourself.